A Day in the Life

Do you have one of those friends that, no matter what you do, if you are together there is going to be some sort of ‘incident’ happen? Well, I have two of them!

And when we are together, you can bet that something out of the ordinary is going to occur. We can get into more ‘trouble’ than sixty-somethings should be allowed.

It isn’t that we are not smart. We are three intelligent, highly educated women. We have raised families, owned businesses, are productive and respected members of the communities we live in. However, it is to the point that, when our family members learn we are going somewhere together, they turn pleading eyes to us and say, “Please try to stay out of trouble!”. I don’t know what they think is going to happen. No one has had to bail us out of jail. Yet.

Let me give you an example of one of our escapades.

One summer day, we went to a local attraction: a drive-through safari park. It’s a wonderful place where you can stay all day, driving through the open-air enclosures, then spend some time in the petting zoo, playing with the wallabies and baby goats or, if you’re lucky, petting the baby camels.

This particular day, we were really enjoying the drive. There were lots of exotic animals making an appearance, just for us, it seemed. Newborns were everywhere!

We would stop and just spend time watching nature in all of its amazing and wondrous forms. When we got to the big cat enclosure, the animals were in full voice. I have been to this place many times, but I had never heard a lion chuffing and roaring. It was breathtaking. And the lions, – their full manes in perfect form as if they had been groomed – put on quite a show. Their roars shook us to the bone. If you have never heard a lion roar at close range, it is a treat. And slightly frightening. I was glad of the double enclosure that protected us.

It was getting late so we reluctantly made our way to the gate so we could head home. We hadn’t noticed any cars for a while and, when we came around the last bend, we knew why. We were locked in. Inside the wildlife enclosure! There were chains and padlocks on the double gates, and they were firmly closed. Nothing was getting out of there!

For a moment, we three sat and stared at the gates, as if we thought that might make them magically open. It did not.

Then we looked at each other with the most dumbfounded expressions. “How did this happen?” we seemed to be thinking. Just before real panic set in, we all burst into hysterical laughter. After several long minutes of giggling and snorting, we settled down to make a plan.

One of us made the rather ridiculous suggestion that she climb over the eight-foot-tall fence and go for help, but that plan was quickly nixed as our eyes fell upon the double strands of rather serious-looking razor wire that topped the enclosure.

Next, we decided to call the owners, admit what we had done, and ask them to come let us out. We rummaged around until we found the paper map we had been presented upon arrival. Just for my own satisfaction, I checked: NOwhere did it list the closing time… At least, that I found. Somehow, we felt vindicated. We punched in the phone number and waited, breathing a collective sigh of relief.

Our rescue was imminent. No such luck. The prerecorded message said the owners were out of town with a sick family member and would not be back until very late but please leave a message. Which we hesitantly did, explaining our situation with chagrin. They did not call back. I made the next suggestion, which was our last resort. “We have to call the police.” That was met with a certain amount of resistance. In our minds’ eye, we could see our faces plastered all over the newspaper and highlighted on the evening news. That would not do!

But we had no choice and we reluctantly made the call. We had to repeat the story. More than once. I believe that was for the edification of all those listening in on the call at the police department. I’m sure they enjoyed it. Someone would be there shortly, they told us.

Finally, a police cruiser slowly pulled up and stopped in front of us. We could see him through the gate as he sat in his car. He just looked at us and shook his head. We tried to look contrite.

After what seemed like an eternity, the owner arrived and unlocked the gate. It was agreed that this had obviously been a horrible mistake, we apologized profusely and were sent on our way with a stern warning to watch the time from now on.

The next day, the owner received a huge bouquet of flowers with, yet another groveling note of apology. We have been back to this place. At first, I wondered if they would grant us entry.

Perhaps our names and pictures were posted on the wall inside the ticket booth, with the words, “Never, never, never, under any circumstances, allow these three miscreants inside the gates again”!

That didn’t happen. We paid our money and took the ride. It’s a wonderful place and we go back often. But we watch the time to be sure!

So that’s my story. Do you have a funny tale of misadventure? I’d love to hear it.