I don’t make new year’s resolutions. At least, not anymore. For years, under the peer pressure of friends and colleagues, I undertook to improve myself by setting new goals. And therein lay the problem. I always undertook too much! There would be a full page of lofty goals, all of them worthy, but too many to be obtained.
At the top of the list was the ever-popular (and infamous) goal to lose weight. I’ve always been unhappy with my body shape and size. (But I now wish I was as fat as I thought I was back then! I would look downright svelte! Well, almost.)
Of course, I hardly ever reached and maintained my goal, which led to frustration. I eventually quit making resolutions completely, which was a coward’s way out. I should have simply set more realistic goals. Ones that could be reached in a timely manner.
So, for those of you who, like me, have trouble setting realistic, achievable goals, may I offer a few suggestions?
Learn something new. This doesn’t have to be earth-shattering. Take an art class. Or a writing class. Or google how to decorate a cake. Or change a faucet. There are thousands of things to learn. Just pick one and do it. Set a time and do it. You will feel great by achieving your goal.
Be kind to yourself. In this world where people can be so mean, we need to learn to take time for ourselves and pamper a bit. For instance, take a long, relaxing bath.
Set aside a moment to decompress when you get home. (I always did this on my drive home. Mentally prepare for work in the morning, decompress for the family in the evening.) And we need to quit beating ourselves up over things we cannot control or fix.
Instead of constantly worrying about losing weight, learn to eat healthily. It’s a lifestyle change. You will feel better and look better too. Eat simply. Raw fruits and vegetables. Watch the carbs. Consume healthy proteins. Ditch the sugar. It works. We are what we eat.
Learn some positive affirmations and say them out loud every day. Say them as if you believe them. Write down something nice about yourself at least once a week. This is not conceit. This is finding your value and your worth. We are what our minds tell us we are. So stay positive.
Take long walks. Breath in the air. Watch the clouds. Observe nature. Feel the sunshine on your face. If this isn’t possible, sit by the window and look outside. Mother Nature is good for us.
Learn yoga or do some other physical activity. Your body will thank you when you are older.
Drink more water. Again, it’s good for us and necessary for our bodies to function properly. Add a little lemon or lime juice and it will go down easier. I use my Fitbit app to track my water intake. It really helps.
Get a live plant. It is amazing how insanely wonderful it can make you feel to keep a plant alive over a period of time. I have one that is about thirty-five years old. Her name is Audry. She is like a member of the family! I would probably have to go into exile if, for some reason, I let her die! (I’m not sure yet who is going to be named in the will as her caretaker!)
Give up a bad habit. We all have them: smoking, drinking too much, eating too much, biting our nails, shopping for things we don’t need… Take your pick. Choose something you really want to change. And do it. This one may take some teamwork so, if you think you need assistance, ask a friend to help you monitor your activities.
Read more. Or, if that is not your forte, listen to books on audio. Set a goal, according to your time schedule, and keep it. I belong to a book club, so I know I’m going to read at least twelve books this year.
Get more involved in your church or synagogue. Or a civic club. Or volunteer. There are so many things you can do.
A new year’s resolution doesn’t have to start on January 1 and last all year. Your goals might be short-term, achieved in six weeks or six months. When that happens, just set a new one. The point is that we should always be doing something to improve ourselves. And if that means getting help, so be it. If it means wrangling your best friend into an exercise class so you will actually participate, then do that. If it means reaching out to your pastor, or AA, or rehab, by all means, do it.
Resolutions can be as big or small as we need them to be. The point is to always be moving forward, toward the goal. The goal of an improved life.
Write down what you want to achieve. Set a time to complete it. Write it on the calendar. Determine your measurement (how you’ll know if you have achieved the goal.) Reward yourself when you succeed. If you did not reach your goal, try to determine why. Was it too complicated? Too difficult? Was it because you had no real interest in it? That sometimes is the case. Just reassess. Then set a new goal.
I have set my resolutions for the year. Most of them don’t cost a thing. (Being a little nicer than the other, nasty person at the checkout… Choosing to remain calm instead of letting my temper flare…) I will endeavor to finish them all because I have, hopefully, set achievable goals. If not, I won’t beat myself up over any mishaps. I’ll do what I always do: set new goals and start over.
Happy New Year, Everyone! Make it a good one!
